Bride Elect (Evolution of a Bridezilla)
Chapter Forty-Five— The Groom’s Got Wood…
When we first got engaged, Palucid and I talked about rings. He typically did not wear rings for two reasons: first, his fingers were thin with boney knuckles which made for ill fitting rings; secondly, rings were usually made out of metal, which conducts electricity. Gold is among some of the most conductive metals you will find. Palucid, being an electrician, saw all kinds of potential occupational hazards with rings.
Although metal is a common material for most jewellery, I was pretty sure there were rings out there made of materials that were more insulating than conductive. I started to ask around. It seems that most jewellery stores do sell “non metal” rings. I found out that not unlike the infamous Monty Python “Spam Sketch”, many of the “non metal rings” featured in jewellery stores “did not have much” metal in them.
Yes, really. It was one of those surreal, but true things. Even many of the wood rings seemed to have a metal band inset in them. Palucid refused to believe that it was this way across the board, and thus he set out to find a place, preferably Canadian place, that made 100% wooden rings. After many months of sporadic ADHD inspired research, Palucid found two places. They were both Canadian (both in BC). One was in the middle of a remote location of BC, and the other seemed to be in North Vancouver.
Palucid first tried talking to the people who were the most isolated. I am not sure what his reasoning is, except perhaps, he really has a knack for following the most persnickety, eccentric and difficult leads. Once he exhausted himself on the first lead, he recovered by sulking at the unfairness of it all. Then, he contacted the second wood ring merchant. The second wood ring merchant seemed to live in convenient proximity to Palucid’s sister, moreover, they did beautiful work and were willing to work with remote customers. In fact, they seemed to have well documented success with remote custom orders. All we had to do was choose the wood, have his finger sized, and take pictures of his hands.
Palucid thought about wood; went to the jeweller who made my ring, and asked him about wood; and finally, he took pictures of his hands. He sent said pictures to the wooden ring makers with his top two list of preferred woods. We were told that the rings would take up to twelve weeks. We realized that really offered a close shave on our time frame. However, worse case scenario, we could get Palucid’s sister to pick up the ring and take it with her to our wedding.
As we waited for the ring, we let all the other wedding and “day job” details curry favour with our attention spans. There were all kinds of things like the non-shower/social thing, the banquet menu, the bouquets, the travel itinerary, our day jobs, flooding so severe in parts of Alberta that the Trans-Canada highway washed out…all kinds of day-to-day stuff.
Along the way, Palucid received the odd update on the status of his ring. In one case they even sent a picture of a rough ring of wood. We knew the finished work would be a joy to behold. One day, just before the monthly credit cards came due, we got word that it was done. Oddly there was no picture attached, but there was a promise that the picture would soon follow. We were told that the ring would be priority posted immediately upon payment in full.
Palucid put on his “strong and silent” face for a few days before he told me. Again, perhaps he was enjoying the rush of complicating things, but regardless—he didn’t tell me right away. Our wedding was slightly less than three and a half weeks away, and we were approximately two weeks away from leaving for BC for the event. What was he thinking procrastinating like this? It was a credit card thing, he wanted to wait until the credit card was paid in full before he paid for the ring, and oh—incidentally—he was waiting for a few jobs to pay out so that he could handle the credit card thing.
For thrift of time, heartfelt desire, and joy of common sense, I convinced him to let me buy the ring. I assured him that it wasn’t something I felt obliged to do, but rather it was something I wanted to do. To me it was important for my groom to have his wood…ring.