Bride Elect (Evolution of a Bridezilla)
Chapter Thirty—Guest List…(sincerest apologies to the Pun Gods)
Aside from the loopy inquisitions, we never really discussed the guest list with anyone. Given my surname, the pun potential was a little overwhelming. Also, we were feeling the burn of the Shouldheads and did not want to inspire a should-frenzy of ‘who to invite’ advice. When you are well into your thirty-somethings the term “just family” can be a somewhat ungainly term.
For example, in addition to grandparents, should we include aunts and uncles? For Palucid, his nephews are under the age of ten, and really by all rights should be in attendance alongside their parents. I, on the other hand, have grown nieces and nephews, and they are old enough to have serious significant others—what is the etiquette on inviting those partners to a small, out-of-town wedding? If we did invite aunts and uncles, then soon to follow would be the pandora’s box of cousins.
I think most couples will agree formulating the guest list can be something of a quagmire. Even in our case, efforts to keep things simple were strangely complicated. Once we agreed on what “immediate family” meant, Palucid realized that he would be considerably outnumbered by Guests at his wedding. That is the big-g guests—my family. He also realized that while choosing his brother’n’law as best man may have saved him from choosing between four of his closest friends, he still really wanted to have these friends at our wedding—even if only to balance the Guest to guest ratio. One of my friends from Alberta was planning to be in the area around that time on a vacation of her own. When Palucid heard this, he insisted we include her and her fiancé as well—Guest to guest ratio be damned.
We also thought it would be kind of neat to have at least one or two guests who weren’t “out of town”. Since the proprietors of the B & B we were staying at were also dear family friends, I wanted to include them. Palucid had no trouble agreeing to this. Furthermore, we had a friend in town who had become very dear to both of us throughout the course of our relationship.
Palucid and I looked at our list and was satisfied that we ‘had’ everybody on our list. There was one friend, more of a second mom really, of Palucid’s who I thought should be on the list. She was like a sister to both of Palucid’s parents, and her boys were very much like brothers to Palucid. At first, Palucid balked at the suggestion. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her there, but more he was concerned asking her would oblige her to attend when perhaps her health and personal inclinations were otherwise. While I was surprised by his feelings on the matter, I didn’t really push it. In the funny way that things work, I didn’t have to. He forgot that the moms talk.
Palucid’s mom just thought it was one of those forgone conclusions that Palucid’s “second mom” would be invited. This wonderful lady, her oldest son, his wife and two boys were invited before Palucid realized it. To his relief these lovely people wanted to share our day with us, not as he feared out of obligation, but out of love, joy and happiness. All things considered, I have navigated worse quagmires. Thanks to Palucid’s extended courtesy-family our Guest to guest ratio had balanced itself out.