Sequel Mondays!

bridezilla in training

Bride Elect (Evolution of a Bridezilla)

Chapter Twenty-Six—The Fluidity of Time and Space…

Over the nine months of vow-writing writer’s block, there were also times when time and space went all sci-fi on my ass. It was more than just a day or two that would stretch on mercilessly like a boring conversation, or an hour that felt more like ten minutes. Time and Space just seemed to develop a non-linear quality that I thought only existed in Star Trek. I remember going to Men In Black III and realizing that I could really, really relate to the character named Griffon. I know it sounds crazy, especially in print, but genetic predispositions to insanity notwithstanding: my perception of Time and Space became nothing short of “special” in the months, weeks, and days leading up to our wedding.

First there was this weird kind of de ja vous. Then, there was this weird kind of de ja vous. Palucid would start talking to me about something and I would stop him to ask why he was repeating himself. Often he would get very frustrated with me because the information he was trying to relay was information that he had just heard. We would launch into this argument ironically reminiscent of the notorious “Argument Sketch” from Monty Python’s Flying Circus. “you’ve told me once before” “No I didn’t!” “Yes–you did!”

I wouldn’t just have those wacky de ja vous inspired experiences with Palucid. Sometimes it would happen with near and complete strangers. Sometimes, in the more entertaining moments, it would happen right in the middle of one of my classes—in plain view of my sweet and mildly amused/panicked students. Sometimes it would happen mid-sentence, “So, to fix this sentence fragment you would…” I wouldn’t really drift off—but I would seem to be somewhere else, and then I would pop back into the present tense with a little shake of my head. Suffice to say, I earned quite the reputation as a master of suspense amongst my students and a few random strangers.

The worst was looking for things I could have sworn I already had, or bought specifically for some kind of wedding related event. I would rummage through every purse, teaching bag, couch cushion, linen closet and kitty condo looking for something I had yet to procure in the “real time”. Some people assured me that I was being absolutely adorable (mostly students, and my nieces and nephews—Palucid had trouble really seeing the adorable side of what must have also looked a little bat-shit crazy). I guess it was easy to presume that amongst all the trappings of being a bride elect, behaving in an absent minded fashion was not outside the realm of normal.

There was this one time, in the middle of administrating an English Language Arts Provincial Standards Exam, when I could have sworn I teleported to my wedding day. My surroundings went from my classroom steaming with nervous energy to a beautiful, sunny, summer morning in BC interior. I was looking at the back yard of the B&B and watching people set up the chairs for our wedding ceremony. Just as Palucid was about to ask my opinion on something I was back in my classroom staring at a student who had just asked a question about…something. The whole experience was so fluid, and outside of time, that I am pretty sure it wasn’t my imagination. Trust me—my imagination is pretty unimaginative when it comes to things like that.

Over the last two months leading up to the wedding, time and space sort of righted itself. Sure, there were still moments when time couldn’t pass fast enough. Oddly enough, the majority of those moments seemed to happen while I was at work doing all that administrative stuff teachers have to do once their students have completed exams. Although, even amongst those protracted moments, time would still fly by. Oddly, those moments seemed to happen while I was at home, sleeping.

When the one month marker came up, I posted it, very simply, on Facebook, as “One Month.”. Not unlike that day in August, not quite ten months ago, I received countless notifications indicating that many of my friends in Facebook Land “liked” that status. My sister, sent me a message reminding me that, as Sister of the Bride, she would be more than happy and honoured to help me with anything I might need help with, in the days leading up to the big day.

I didn’t need to jump in and out of time to “feel” it this time. Not unlike that dog running away in the prairies, I saw the spot on the horizon, and I would be able to watch it quite easily for days to come.

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