Sequel Mondays!

bridezilla in training

Hello Everyone! 

Thanks to the cache of writing I have waiting to be “discovered”, I will be able to continue posting while I also participate in JuNoWriMo. Conversely, thanks to challenges like JuNoWriMo, I have a cache of writing waiting to be discovered! Happy Reading/Writing All!

Bride Elect (Evolution of a Bridezilla)


Chapter Twenty-Two—Host-less Luncheon


The Games Night, from what I remember, was a big hit. People raved about the venue, the games, the food, the silent auction prizes, and the cheese platters. Our friends, and family happily gathered and played all kinds of games. Some circles even crossed over into other circles. My dad and his outfit were a huge hit—thanks to him, hardly anyone noticed I had bells on.


I have this dress that jingles—it is bright, colourful and melodic. It is covered in beadwork, bells and coins. In times when I am feeling nervous, or shy, I wear this dress. I figure if I can be present with bells on (literally), then I will be okay—no matter what happens. It was the ideal choice for a Goddess Bride like myself. Moreover, I would not be able to catch anymore birds.


With the Games Night successfully behind us, the bridal vortex was not yet done its whirling and roaring. I was invited to a Hostless Luncheon held in my honour. Oh, and I needed to provide a list of people who I would like to have invited to this luncheon. The luncheon was hostless because everyone invited—save for the bride, had to pay for their own meal. They also, I found out afterwards, were collecting money for gifts.


Gifts. Sigh. Oh…and did I also mention there would be the promise—nay guarantee—that I would be photographed—a lot? What’s worse is that I couldn’t wear my jingle dress again—people would talk. I had to find something else to wear, and I had to prepare myself to be the centre of attention at an event that had neither my jingle dress, nor my dad clad in his five-foot corsage to divert attention. It was also a brunch, so the best I could hope for alcohol-wise were mimosas.


I decided, especially given the short time frame, that I had to go dress shopping: off-line. I decided that I could justify this purchase because not only did I need something to wear for this Hostless Luncheon, but I could also do well to use this same dress again for this year’s graduation ceremony at work. I decided that I would easily find a lovely, flowy summer dress that was blue, or even a pearly-pink.


Shopping offline was harder than I remembered. First there were all these…sales people, and second there were other shoppers. In one store, the sales people walked around with walkie-talkies. I couldn’t go anywhere in that store without hearing “spppppppppppp-BEEEP—spppppp I am in Seasonal…sppppppppppppppp—BEEP—sppppppppppp—now I am in Bath…spppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppph” Ironically, in that same store, I kept tripping over shoppers standing in the middle of the aisle wondering out loud “Where am I?” During my hasty retreat out of this store, I got stuck at the mall entrance. Apparently there were two shoppers struggling getting their shopping carts through the security gates that prohibited shopping carts from leaving the store.


Things had changed over the time I had discovered online shopping. I am not sure exactly why or how, but it is almost as if the fashion industry was hijacked by a bunch of tea-totalling octogenarians seeking to revive the prewar fashions of upholstery. I have not seen so many floral prints since that time in the eighties when my parents dragged me along during one of their couch shopping expeditions. There were no reasonably priced, solid coloured summer dresses to be found. I decided to go home and rediscover both my anxiety and my summer dress collection.


As I fretted, Palucid watched me writhing in all my social awkwardness and smirked almost sadistically. This whole Hostless Luncheon was a girls-only event—so he was off the hook. All he had to do was hang out with my dad while all the women folk were out celebrating at this hostless luncheon. They were probably going to go tool shopping at Princess Auto ™ or Canadian Tire ™—lucky bastards!


Our family friend was so excited about this event. She loved celebrating life and all its joyous events. She loved having a reason to take pictures, and celebrate the people she adored. As uneasy as I might have been with the hoopla of it all, I just could not get frustrated in the face of such love, joy, and generosity. Instead of getting frustrated, I got…emotional.


Aside from my mom, sister and sister-in-law, the room was chalk full of people who had never seen me get all emotional and teary. I am not sure if it was all my passive research, the online shopping, the mimosas, or being coerced to take part in a traditional bridal event, but I was starting to act like a total girl. I was mere minutes away from becoming someone who screams at the sight of a spider. The girls from my Stitch’n’Bitch were totally going to mock me.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s