Sequel Mondays!

bridezilla in training


Bride Elect (Evolution of a Bridezilla)


Chapter Fifteen–Brave New World!—Internet Shopping


Trustful ™ merchants were very trusty and trustworthy, as it turns out. My hooded veil showed up on my doorstep within the month.  In the meantime, I “visited” my hooded veil on the website regularly.  Each time I was there, I started to surf around a little more.  I was floored by the amazing deals.  I saw two hundred dollar gowns on there that cost the Rich Bride Poor Bride ™ brides several thousand dollars.  Wow!!


I looked at all kinds of accessories: gloves, shoes, purses, guest favours, jewellery, and fans.  Palucid and I decided that since neither of our mothers really like fresh cut flowers, and also since there would be an outdoor ceremony in a region where wasps fly freely, we should consider a floral-less alternative.  Both moms have certain sensitivities to the heat of midday.  My Trustful ™ new friends had a vast assortment of silk and bamboo fans!  The moms (Grandma included) were getting fans!


As I was surfing merrily along, I found other accessories.  One in particular would, I thought, offer a funky kind of symmetry to my foot jewellery.  My “something blue”, for the ceremony was going to be a pair of “sole-less sandals”, and there on my new favourite online shopping centre was a type of bracelet that looped around the finger, down the back of the hand, and latched at the wrist. They would be the palm-less gloves to my sole-less sandals.  Sure they weren’t blue, but they were sparkly and pearl-less.  Oh, they were also 80% off of the retail price!  I was so excited to find such unique and goddessy accessories that I not only bought a pair for myself, but I also bought a pair for my maid of honour.  I very nearly bought a set for my sister, Palucid’s sister, my sister-in-law, and both nieces—but Palucid talked me down.  My Palucid was fast becoming the bridezilla whisperer.


Now, to recap, I had found my veil, palm-less gloves, mom fans, and a maid of honour gift!  I was still looking for hair accessories, and exploring the many styles and fashions available for today’s bride.  Convention still held an obvious bias towards the princess motif.  It influenced hemlines, dress and veil cuts, bouquet design, flower girl and bridesmaid dresses, and all jewellery and accessories.  It was very shameful in that Disney ™ sort of way.


I would not be discouraged—surely if there was a “Grecian” inspired style, certainly it must follow that there would be headpieces, or hair jewellery of that genre as well.  I held steady with my newest favourite website—it had provided me with my veil after all.    I had to scale back my “passive research” to make time to redouble my efforts at online shopping.


Only a couple of late night searches and not only did I find what I was looking for, I found several options.  I have always had a rather prominent forehead.  Without bangs, not only do you see several acres of forehead, but my eyebrows are, too understate things a little: prominent. I figured my forehead has been waiting all my life to be adorned, and why not use an once-in-a-lifetime event like a wedding to do so?  Now, perusing my several options I had to figure out a couple of things.  Just exactly how big was my forehead, and how much surface area, exactly, to adorn?  Once I figured that out, I then could determine if I want my sparkly stones arranged in flower, or heart clusters.


I was so very excited; my goddess-bride look was very nearly complete.  Moreover, to please those who were reeling from our wanton lack of nods to tradition, I had amassed a “something old”, “something new”, and a “something blue”.  I needed a “something borrowed” and as much as I enjoyed my trusty friends at Trustful ™, it was highly doubtful they were in the business of lending out their merchandise.


It was time to call in an expert in accessorizing.  Not only did she have a way of putting things together, she had also collected a bunch of things that help one be well put together.  My sister was something of a knick-knack, accessory, and gadget aficionado.  If anyone could help me with first determining which accessory I was still lacking, and what colour, and style would work, it would be her! 



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